You are not poor because you are not reaching your goals. You are poor because you are reaching your goals. Your set your goals as high as the ceiling in your house instead of setting goals as high as the moon or the stars. It’s normal to do this and I have struggled with this for many years myself. Not addressing the underlying causes of low goal setting will lead to frustration, anger and a dissatisfied life. Here are a few things to look out for when setting goals so that you can achieve your “real” goals. The ”real” goals you dream about, wish about and yearn for. The big ones! Reaching your goals that uplift you to a new social status, financial status and influence in this world.
The comfort zone (the most common one)
Yeah, every “guru” will shout from the stage that change is the only constant and we have to embrace it or die. Very scary words. But the fact is, change is scary and not always an enjoyable experience. I have spent more than 10,000 hours on my personal development over the past 9 years and to be honest with you, I am not always in the mood for change. I am not in the mood to move my barriers. I am not in the mood to lose something in order to gain something. Sometimes I just want to curl up in the womb of my comfort zone, suck my thumb and let be what is. If you feel like that, you are not alone and perfectly normal. However, ask yourself – if you continue the way you do today, what will your life look like in 5, 10 or even 20 years? If it scares you, I hope it scares you enough to see the benefit of moving out of your comfort zone. You cannot get what you want by staying the same, thinking the same and doing the same. Setting goals within your comfort zone will lead to more of your comfort zone. The best suggestion I can make is to get a little uncomfortable and slowly increase the dosage every week. Get a coach or mentor to help you stay true and accountable.
It’s not your goals (the silent killer)
Reaching your goals did not deliver what you wanted because they were not your goals. If I look at my daughter who is in the final years of school, I can see this play out in many kids. They achieve what their parents want them to achieve. It has little importance to them apart from not having a fight with their parents. Deliver what they want and they will not fight with you. As an adult, it might be having to live up to a social or religious ideal that does not resonate with you on any level. You use words such as “A man should …”, “A woman should …”, “A good husband always …”.
Discover what you want and stick to it. You will still face flack and resistance from your loved ones, meaningful other, society and more. But, that is moving out of your comfort zone in order to get what you want. The most difficult thing to do is to get clear about what you want in life. It took me four years to get clear on my message. The other day I sat down with a professional speaker and she has been trying to find her message for two years. She was very frustrated, to say the least. In 30 minutes I helped her get clarity and find her message. Now, she has something to communicate, market and monetize. Again, I will stress the importance of a guide, coach or mentor. I have many coaches, mentors and guides because it is easier to see a fault in someone else than it is within yourself. This is coming from a coach and mentor.
You are not prepared to give to get
Reaching your goals, you have to change, become more, become different. In order to gain what you need, you will have to let go of the things that do not fit into this mold anymore. If you want to become a money master, it means reading more but giving up your 2 to 3 hours of watching TV every day. It would mean no more impulse buying or going out with friends for a few weeks. If you want to lose weight, it means not going to your favorite coffee shop for the double mocha full cream milk frozen shake. I know what this means. I am married to a confectionary chef and I do not eat sugar. Two days ago I had 400 (four hundred, yes) chocolate cakes in my house, my whole house smelled like chocolate. It means giving up on that, not giving in and keeping your true goal in front of you. I cannot be a professional International speaker, stand on stage and tell people to have focus and discipline and be overweight and unhealthy. I will be incongruent with my message. By accomplishing this, I earned the right to be a coach, mentor and speaker on life design.
A last word of motivation that makes this much easier
Reaching your goals does not mean all is challenge and bad. If there is one thing I learnt about nature/the universe etcetera, it is that whatever you move towards, WILL move towards you. That goes for bad and good. It goes for big goals and small goals. You do half the work and the universe does the other half. What a sweet deal. Go on! Kick butt and bring your real goals to life, the ones that bring meaning, purpose and success to life. You are too important to this world not have an impact, I know it and it is high time you start believing it too.